hello. been awhile since i'm here already... other than the other time i pasted the email in. haha.

shall do a little update on my life, havent been talking much about it. school just started last week.. and many subjects are pretty comprehensive (= cheem :/) i went through the first week pondering to myself why i went to this elective, banking and finance. somehow i couldnt really find a reason.. except maybe that i find finance cool and interesting? then sets in my worries, of what if i become so concerned abt $ and $ and $, since this is wht the elective is about.

somehow God showed me tt i was there for a purpose? no idea wht purpose yet, but it's definitely not an accident. he showed me tt many of the lecturers are actually christians... who still stick to their personal values and such. to me it's an accomplishment if i can be like them, because i am someone who can be easily influenced at times.

anyway.. digressing. i wanted to post smth on self esteem today. what is your opinion of self esteem? is it plainly confidence.. or something beyond?

as i thought abt it, i realised that self esteem is kind of like confidence.. which comes from believing in yourself and your abilities. but more than that, it's a sense of your own opinion of your self worth, your "value".

some may feel that their value lies in their abilities, others may feel tt it's in their looks, still others.. it's in their achievements. often times, we value ourselves according to the "value" others put on us. when people praise us, we feel like we suddenly have more confidence in ourselves abt something. and when they criticize you, you feel upset.

why? because you have accepted that opinion that they said abt you, somewhat believing that it's true. i'm not so sure about you, but i get that alot. perhaps because i'm more sensitive about what others say and do, resulting in this "reading too much into things" problem.

so how do we overcome this problem (if you have it, that is)? my answer is.. think through what greatly affects your self esteem. ask yourself some questions, like:

is this something which accurately shows my true value?
why do i use this to measure my value?

many other qns too, i leave it to you. but what i can say is.. never let what others say cause you to feel of less value. as the saying goes, you are who you think you are. not what others think of you. God loves you, just the way you are, no matter whether you know him or not.