Just another ordinary miracle.

Monday, April 23, 2007

8:20 PM

Haiz.. why is this feeling coming back to me? this feeling tt no one cares. tt no one listens. I'VE HAD ENOUGH. stop saying that to me!

sometimes I feel tt no one listens, or bothers abt me. too many times, I hv spoken and been ignored. too many times, wht I say doesnt seem to matter at all to anyone. too many times..

too many times, I said smth but no one notices. ok I shldnt go on.. I'm alr tearing.

but I guess. today. somehow. God made me realise thru this incident. tt I really cared if anyone listened. or even HEARD me. today, I spoke and the person din hear it. she acted like she did.. and tt pissed me off further. I know it's really not her fault, it's my problem. the problem lies in me. this is an over reaction on my part. but... I realised I hv given up. I hv decided in my heart during some certain time, that it's ptless to continue speaking. to continue trying. and I just say to myself.

leave it be lydia. LEAVE IT BE.

no matter wht I feel. regardless of whtever situation. I choose to be ignored then to make my point. because it has been meaningless to say already. the person doesn't even hear you for goodness sake.

haiz. why am I so affected? I am also stunned by my reaction. perhaps too many thoughts in my head, too much uncertainty? too much thinking... I do not know.

this is smth I hv yet to resolve... and I wonder when I will.

I do not need comments on this post.. thx alot.